No bow. No fluff. Reality. Accepting that I may never get my independence back in the same way is hard. Turns out that taking the time off to devote my mobility has put me at a standstill, in more ways than one.
Reconnecting and getting back to work after time off is extremely challenging and, if I'm honest, I'm struggling. Imposter Syndrome and overwhelm are real.
Reconnecting after time off has become my Everest. Occasionally life throws a curve ball and puts you out of action. I recently took time off work because I wanted to improve my mobility and confidence in walking outside. This took a major kick as an indirect residual effect of shielding and COVID. Shielding fed my agoraphobia. Not going outside frequently, also heavily impacted my ability to move independently. At the beginning of last year, I decided to prioritise my mobility. Unfortunately, it turns out it will take more time to get my independence back. The toll it takes to accept things may never be the same is huge, adapting to the idea that I may not be able to do what I did before is crushing.
Devoting a year and putting work on the back burner has meant my networks have gone neglected. There is so much to catch up on and relearn and so many people to reconnect with. In this fast-paced world, it’s challenging to re-establish my name in such a saturated industry. The overwhelm, together with imposter syndrome and cyclical depression has made it difficult to regain confidence. Being an extrovert with agoraphobia that can frequently paralyse you with fear is somewhat complicated. I have yet to find a workable solution and often find myself sitting in front of a blank screen, struggling to focus on any task, big or small. Networking, once my passion is something that now fills me with anxiety.
Forgive my candid approach to sharing and I fear not my most eloquent post, but it’s real. It’s a rocky road ahead. It feels like I’m starting from scratch. Applying strategies to support the process is the most challenging thing in my current mindset. One of the strategies is publishing my current state of play to be fully transparent and honest. So, here it is. No pretty bow or fluff. Raw reality.
I’d love to reconnect. If you got this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. If you would like to reach out, please do. Connect and chat on LinkedIn, via email, or book a chat here.